Thursday , October 28 2021

Secrets backed by the science of a successful marriage


There is no perfect formula for a happy relationship, but science was very close.

Through studies and studies of the interactions and habits of couples, psychologists have found that successful relationships have a lot in common.

Here are five secrets backed by science for a successful marriage.

The happiest couples have sex once a week

Happy couples often have sex once a week.
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The Society for Personality and Social Psychology has investigated 30,000 Americans over four decades and found that couples who have sex once a week report being the happiest. They determined that the more sex one couple has, the happier they are, but only one frequency once a week – having sex over once a week did not indicate a greater level of happiness.

"Although the most frequent sex is associated with greater happiness, this link was no longer significant at a frequency of more than once a week," said lead researcher Amy Muise in a press release. "Our findings suggest that it is important to maintain an intimate connection with your partner, but you do not need to have sex every day while maintaining that connection."

The couples that drink together stay together

Couples with similar consumption habits are happier.
Steven Paston / PA Images through Getty Images

A study published in Gerontology B Newspapers: Psychology has shown that couples with matching consumption habits are happier than couples whose habits of consumption differ. The study included 4,864 married participants.

An explanation of this could be that when you drink or do other activities, a couple is spending more time together.

The less materialistic a couple is, the more satisfied they will be

They are the small things that really matter.
Kathrin Ziegler / Getty Images

A study that analyzed 1,310 married people and published in the Journal of Family and Economic Issues found that materialism (defined as a high value in money and goods) is associated with lesser conjugal satisfaction.

Business Insider has also previously reported that money is one of the main reasons that couples seek counseling and one of the main causes of divorce.

When couples are able to focus less on the search for wealth and material possessions and more on one another, their relationship is beneficial.

As couples start difficult conversations they can determine the success of their relationships

Couples who have difficult conversations can dampen any storm.
Photo by Boris Roessler / photo alliance through Getty Images

The psychological investigator John Gottman invited 130 couples of newlyweds to fill in questionnaires and then discuss a disagreement in their relationship for 15 minutes.

He found that couples who started with negative effects in the first minutes and who were able to discredit the negative were more likely to stay together. On the contrary, the 17 couples who later divorced began their conversations with what he called a "tough start": more signs of negative emotions and less positive effects.

He also highlighted four types of negativity such as "The Four Horsemen" who can destroy their ravages in a relationship: criticism, contempt, defense and destruction (withdrawal and shutdown).

If a couple discusses hard arguments or conversations with empathy and goodness from the beginning, it is a sign that their marriage is built to last.

Read more: This man studied relationships 40 years ago and claims that he can determine the success of a marriage in 15 minutes. Let's look like that

He leans with enthusiasm and builds positive relationships

Celebrating the achievements of others build connection.
Reuters Photographer / Reuters

Providing support and enthusiastic interest in the achievements of others is a crucial method of connection.

In a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, psychology professor Shelly Gable ranked four possible responses to the good news shown by couples: active constructive (enthusiastic, caring, interested), passive constructive (relatively positive interest but little or no) . Passive destructive (no interest and change of subject) and destructive assets (discrediting or minimizing the news).

Active constructive responses to good news meet the emotional needs of the partners and encourage positive emotional experiences, that is, the tail that maintains relationships.

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